IFS/ “Parts” work demystified:
Can’t we all relate to sometimes experiencing a tension within ourselves, where one part of wants one thing and another parts desires something different?
Perhaps even as we embark on this holiday season, a part of you wants to slow down, savor the moments with your family, and focus on what really matters. While another part is keen to make sure you kick it into high gear and stay ON TOP OF ALL THE THINGS, like Christmas shopping, pie making, and the events you’re expected to attend.
Although this is a simple example, this feeling of being torn inside sucks the life and energy out of us, keeping distracted and fragmented.
This is where Internal Family Systems or “Parts” work can be so helpful.
How “Parts” work works:
When we go through hard things as children and experience shame, grief, sadness, overwhelm, and trauma, oftentimes other PARTS of us take over to protect us from feeling that again.
These Protective Parts are either Managers or Firefighter Parts.
Managers are proactive (I’ll prevent you from ever experiencing that again!)
- think planning, organizing, preventing, controlling behavior
Firefighters are reactive (I’ll quickly douse emotion that feels overwhelming)
- think OVER-DOING anything like drinking, food, shopping, screens, working
They both work really hard to protect the exiled parts of you that they fear will flood your system if activated, or are too weak or vulnerable. The problem is that when one of these parts is in the driver’s seat, you are out of balance and usually not living the life you truly desire.
The way to move forward well is to go back and heal the exiles. These childlike parts of you are very important parts that make you YOU! (Usually these parts were the most awake, alive and engaged you’ve ever felt).
The beautiful thing about God’s design of your brain is that you can actually go back and RE-DO the memories where your exiles were wounded, so that you can experience healing, and your Managers and Firefighters don’t have to keep repeating the same unhelpful behaviors and cycles. So that you can be more free and whole.
God wants all of you to receive RESTORATION, so you can live fully awake, alive, and more fully you!
If you are curious to learn more, shoot me a message!
If you sense this could be powerful work for you, reach out and we chat about whether we’d be a good fit to work together.
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